I see your ______!!!!

10 05 2013

Happy Mother’s Day. Gather round. It’s story time:

My kids have had a deeply ingrained sense of modesty around their parents for a while now regarding basic nudity. No one has been purposely naked in front of each other for a very long time… well, with the exception of two people in my family *wink wink nudge nudge*. Nudity within a family is a funny thing, one that is clearly defined within the four walls that encompass every manner of family. It is measured within each person’s level of comfort and casual allowance. To each their own, I guess. As it should be.

Anyways, there was a casual approach to nudity in our family. We raised our kids with the subtle message that everyone has a body and it’s no big deal. But that all changed for us as our kids grew up a bit.

New rule: Absolutely no naked ick around!! That is the RULE. Parents are GROSS! They have BODIES! EW!!!

We all then began the purposeful knocking on doors, the respecting privacy, following the no nudity rule etc etc.

It was inevitable (obviously) that one day, I would open the bathroom door, positive that I was alone, to walk the four feet to my bedroom, sans towel or robe, only to see that lo and, yes, behold, there stood my unfortunate teenage son. I did the old “Oh My God, I’ve been seen naked pose” –  arms clasped in such a manner across my chest and inner thighs so to desperately deflect any visual awareness that yes, indeed I was NAKED. This was to no avail.

The thing about me is, though, that I see humour in almost everything in my life. I couldn’t help but take in the horrified expression on his face as he realized his worst nightmare had come true. There, in front of him was his mother, in all her birthday suit glory, naked as the day she was born. His jaw dropped open as if the gates of hell opened in front of him. He covered his eyes with his hands and shrieked a bit. As the horror slowly sank into him, I grabbed the towel, covering myself as the giggles hit. I started to for real LMAO  as he ran into his room, and I, doubled over maniacally howling, trying to wrap myself up…..

“My eyes” he yelled, as he lay prone on his bed, his face buried into his pillow. “MY EYES!!!”

I, laughing still, grabbed my robe and made myself decent before going to see him.

I could tell it was not only a horrific experience for him; he also, like his mom, thought it was kind of funny. Funny in a terrifying ironic kind of way. He informed me he needed some bleach to pour in his eyes just get that image out of his mind. I think I told him then that what was seen can never be unseen. And then we laughed.…. That, my friends, was oddly (and on the self-deprecating side) one of the best laughs I have shared with him yet.


May you Mothers out there always find the humour and laughter in the most mundane or insane moments of your life, as you raise your own unique gifts to this world. I love you all!