Wanton indulgence

8 01 2013

The curse of Woman is not the monstruating nightmare that happens monthly. It is guilt, the rampant guilt stomping around our brains, yelling at us if we dare to put ourselves first, that keeps many of us from self-indulgent activities.

The lure of divine chocolate dancing on our tongues is met with internal scorn of a caloric measure. A hot bubble bath ten minutes past the usual length leads to curious knocking on the door and inquiries of your possible death by bubbles. Sleeping in on a Saturday? Tsk tsk. Aren’t we meant to be frying up bacon and eggs for the others in our home? Heaven forbid we put ourselves first, and though we try, many of us are met with our own inner judgement.

It’s a true melting pot of cause and effect.

I admit I am my own worst enemy. When I sit to write, I fret about the laundry. When I sit to read, I worry what my husband will say if he sees me idle and not working around the home.

Try and let that guilt go I say to myself! But it isn’t that easy. I have children, a part time job, a busy husband, a house to upkeep, food to cook, gardens to weed, my body to exercise. And there is nothing wrong with my “duties” in my life. But I feel sapped and drained if I don’t feed my soul with my own wanton desires of indulgences.

And so today I dedicated my day to ME. I *gasp* had a bath and then went back to bed after my kids and husband left for the day. At first I felt squirmy and out of sorts, the guilt rising in me about the endless multitudes of things I could be doing. But the lure of my book and my (sorry) epic cramps begged me to give in. I did. I fought the guilt and gave in to my desire to do nothing.

And it felt so damn good.

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12 responses

8 01 2013
Jenny Heston

Awesome! I have had those days as well, as most women have. So good for you Kris for giving yourself time. Loved the descriptons and as I had two women appear in my office that had moved their flows together and one hadn’t had one in 3 years. Totally get it!

8 01 2013
Kris

As always, love to hear from you J! Thanks zillions!

8 01 2013
Lonnie Lang Facchina

OMG I could have written this!! Except I would have used the word indulgence instead of indulgement, and I don’t have kids. Wow… you saw into my soul and it feels good to know that I’m not alone… thanks for continuing to keep me entertained, Kris. You are such a great writer!

8 01 2013
Kris

Oof, correction noted! Thanks Lonnie! πŸ™‚ And yes, it is definitely something we all struggle with!

8 01 2013
Cindy Cullen

We should put ourselves first! NObody’s happy if Mama ain’t happy πŸ™‚ The heart pumps blood to itself first. We aren’t good to anyone if we don’t take care of ourselves. Good for you Kris!

8 01 2013
Kris

Thank you Cindy! And yes, if Mama isn’t happy, no one else is!

8 01 2013
Kendall

Been there… so very true sista!!

9 01 2013
Kris

After your last couple weeks, you better practice some self indulgence!! XOX

8 01 2013
jjlord

You are so awesome!

9 01 2013
Kris

You too Jami! xo

8 01 2013
Lana Torwalt

Good girl!!! I can’t wait until my 3 year old is in school and I can go back to bed……sigh…

9 01 2013
Kris

Oh those days will come, Lana…. Hang in there sista!

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