At the risk of being called a snob…. and apologies to one of my besties.

7 09 2012

When I am sitting down to dinner and someone hands me a finely grilled rare T-bone, served with sautéed potatoes and fresh asparagus with a touch of lemon butter I know I am in for a feast where I savour every mouthful. It takes me longer to eat a really good meal because it’s worth every single second.

But when that same meal is replaced with a greasy burger, done up with limp lettuce and some ketchup, served with overly salted fries, I can’t say that I wouldn’t eat it if I, perchance, was starving…. but I am pretty positive that I wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much as that aforementioned steak dinner.

This is how I feel about books.

I read. A lot. I could easily give up most mediums, like TV and internet, as long as my books are left to me unscathed. Evenings in my home are spent with my husband watching a show and me curled up in my recliner, my nose buried deep in the pages of a gripping novel.

I don’t read “bodice rippers” or Harlequin romances. I turn down the works of Daniel Steele and Maeve Binchy. I rely on girlfriends to gush on and on about this book or that and then, yes, I pick it up. I am greedy in my lust for a well-written story. I have read some really shitty books in my past and have absolutely no qualms about tossing that book aside if I feel it sucks.

I tried the first Twilight book and it took me the first five pages before I realized this was just not for me. My daughter loved the series, and who am I to begrudge anyone enjoyment with the written word?

I had heard of 50 Shades of Grey several months ago, and to be honest, was deeply intrigued about it…. until I read the preview through Amazon. I don’t know, it was about 10 pages or so, and I read it, anticipating some titillation and intrigue. The sample I read was … not good…

Then I read a few reviews of the book (puh-lease disregard all the annoying animated GIFs in that link and read it the whole way through) about the same time as two of my most dearest friends read the book. I admit, I was set in my opinion before I read that book. I stubbornly dug my soles in and said “No friggen way” to which my friends admonished me (in the charmingly honest Shut Up Bitch  way that besties can), telling me I should try it, I should read it, it was pretty good, the sex was HOT.

And so I did.

This is how I felt about the book:

-I liked the idea of it, and I am not one to shy away from sex scenes in any novel.

-the character’s names were like either really bad stripper names or taken from some horrible Soap Opera.

-I have NEVER met a woman who had orgasms her first time… so yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

-I felt the book was written in a hasty way by a horny 17 year old girl who has an absurd extensive knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle.

-for all the hot sex in the book, not once does she say “pussy” or “cock” or any other pornographic genital terminology relating to body parts. Instead she refers to it as “down there“. Really???? Down there????? Are you, like, 12?????

-It annoyed my feminist side. Apart from a little dominant play, this was, admittedly, too much for me. It just didn’t turn me on, you know…. down there. (LOL!!!)

-I was appalled at how many times the author used “Oh my” and “Holy shit”. There are many other words in the English language. Use them.

-It was boring.

-I could (and did) write a waaaaaaay better sex scene.

Look, if you liked the book, then yay for you! This review is NOT to be taken as judgmental against anyone’s preference for reading material. It is a best seller after all.

I just didn’t like it.

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2 responses

8 09 2012
karri

the writing was crap. It was outside the danielle steele norm. that is why the book is so popular. my two cents.

8 09 2012
Kim

I am also a book snob (as well as a coffee snob). The way I see it, there are soooooo many amazing books out there. I have very little time to read as I am so inundated with homeschooling, gardening, chicken mucking, house cleaning…..the list goes on and on, that when I have those few precious moments at the end of the day, I want it to be good….damn good. I think of the saying, So many books, so little time. I too am no longer afraid of throwing a book to the side after the first few chapters if the writing is not good, or it does not grab me… Life is short…read well. Not to say that others should not read these books. If it grabs you and YOU love it….read on. Literacy is important, whether you are reading a newspaper, cartoon, novel…whatever…as long as you are reading. When you read for years and years and years, it goes to show, your reading levels and likes change. I love to cook…this has grown over the years. I am now into cooking gourmet…I no longer am satisfied cooking what I did years ago. I like a challenge, I want to try different foods, more difficult techniques. I must remember that what I love, others may not. Years ago I was deeply offended when my Mom read one of my very favorite books (that I have read and reread over and over), and when I joyfully said “Well”, fully expecting her to rave about it, she said “:Ummmm, it was OK.” Couldn’t believe it. What was wrong with her???? Now I get it. To each his own. Just let me be a snob, and love me all the same!

By the way, I just read a gooder…..My Dear, I Wanted To Tell You by Louisa Young

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