On my way to my first day back to work after years of being a stay-at-home mom, I ran into my previous boss on the street. We both greeted each other with friendly smiles and hellos.
Then he raised his right arm and leaned in towards me. I reacted in kind, thinking he was going for a hug, which was odd, but hey, I live in the Koots and hug pretty much everyone I know on a regular basis.
I went in for the hug with both arms as he slowly patted my back and turned away.
At that point, time slowed down, and with a sickening feeling I realized I had no choice. I was going in, the momentum was too much and I had to complete the Awkward Social Hug, in which I sort of hugged his arm and ended up with my head against the back of his shoulder. My own right arm floundered in space. I swear the man next to him grimaced.
Then there was that weird, awkward moment where you both feel like complete assholes. That second lasted a very long time to me. Thank God the light turned and we could both cross the street, making light-hearted polite conversation, in some sort of attempt to pretend that the Hug never happened.
I shuddered inwardly. It was worse than going for a handshake and getting a fist-bump instead. I can equate it with giving someone a kiss on the cheek, but inadvertently smooching someone on the lips due to a rogue head-turn. The only thing I can think of that is definitely worse is accidentally grabbing someone’s junk in an inept attempt to shake hands. (Yes. That happened to me. Really.)
I hope he felt just as awkward as I did, since, really, it was all his fault….