The day I was felt up by three different people….. (and no, that’s not as hot as it sounds.)

11 10 2011

About two weeks ago while in the shower, I felt a lump in my left breast.

Even though the water was hot, I instantly felt cold. It was fairly round, about the size of a marble. I gently felt it again, just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. Nope. Still there.

I busied myself getting dressed to head into town. I called my family doctor and they got me in right away. So away I went.

Normally, the half hour drive to town is a pleasant time, generally spent by pretending I am an AWESOME singer….. ignoring any side-eyes other drivers cast my way. This time, I was planning my funeral, on what to say to my kids, on how to make my own hair into a wig. (You have no idea how lumpy my head is.) Wondering if I was going to be “the one”. The one that actually gets cancer. The gloom and doom of What-If was hovering treacherously close to my spirit.

But hey, on the bright side, there’s always medical marijuana!

My doctor assessed the lump and told me she felt sure it wasn’t anything to be overly concerned about, but best get it looked at by the specialist, as well as having a mammogram (my first) and an ultrasound. She also informed me to not fret. Oh, she knows me well.

So, away I went a few days later.

First the mammogram. I wasn’t nervous about it. Just curious as to how they would smoosh my tiny girls. The technician became very familiar with my knockers. She maneuvered my breast like it was a lump of pizza dough, placing it between the two pieces of plastic, readying me for the big squeeze. As it compressed, I let curiosity get the best of me and glanced down. I was astonished at how flat they got my sweater puppies. They looked like pancakes. Boobcakes, if you will.

I got felt up by my ultrasound tech next. And then headed off to the specialist to be felt up, yet again.

I was assured that 9 times out of 10, these lumps are either cysts or fibroadenomas. Whew! He called back the next day with the test results from the hospital. I will need to have a needle aspirate to make sure it is just a cyst.

It was a surreal few days. We ALL know someone who has gone through breast cancer. It turned out well for me, but for some other woman, it won’t. She will actually be going through all the motions of being diagnosed with cancer that whirred around my brain. She will have to tell her kids, her friends, her partner. She will have to brave the world as a changed woman. As a woman with cancer.

Oh, I have sent my abundant gratitude up to the powers that be when I found out it wasn’t serious.

Ladies, friends, loved ones…. Eat well. Get lots of sleep. Exercise. And check your boobs every month. And if you’re over 40, go get ’em squished. It wasn’t bad at all.



8 responses

11 10 2011

What can I say to my wonderful niece… you always amaze me with your writings… you totally blow me away and you bring tears to me… to make me laugh and you make me cry, both happy tears and sad tears, but in the end its always joy and I thank you for that! I love you Kris and keep up the amazing writings…!

12 10 2011

Thanks Ronda! 🙂 I love the fact that you always read my posts. xo

11 10 2011
Lana Torwalt

I hear ya sister! Had pretty much the same experience about 10 years ago. Super gross what goes through your mind. Thankfully I didn’t have children then. I am terrified of the “C” word. So glad everything turned out well for you. The boob squish really isn’t that bad. Amazing how you can make me laugh with such a serious content! OXO

12 10 2011

So many women go through this… Scary, hey? Love ya!

17 10 2011

The doctor found a lump in my left boob when I was 17. I had it removed and it was a blank as well… now I have this lovely 2″ gash … nice that they can just use a needle now. But we all have to be very careful for sure. Your great grandma Laybourne had cancer and one was removed… along with much of her arm muscle. I think she called it a radical mastectomy. I can remember going to Regina with mom and dad to see her when she was in the hospital. We were too young to be allowed in so we had to wave to her from the parking lot. Strange,,, I haven’t thought of that in years.

18 10 2011

That’s good to know about family history! Thanks Lori!

19 10 2011

Thank you for this… such a serious matter, that, thankfully, you skimmed by. I love you and all you write…

19 10 2011

Thanks cuz! xo

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