So when you’re feeling down in the dumps…

17 11 2010

Didn’t we all go through an awkward stage in life? I certainly did. Unlike others, whose awkward stages lasted a year or two, mine stretched out for what seemed like forever…..

Grade 6. My body decided to switch into that high gear known as Puberty. Or, as I would like to think, the ultimate torture device that mankind didn’t invent, but would have if given the chance since IT SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.

There were two boys in my class that I would dreamily stare at through my gigantic tinted eyeglasses during school. Mike and Jeff. *Sigh*. Did they ever look my way? Naw. Well, only to pass me notes that would ask me if “Jenny D. liked me, check YES or NO.” WHAT THE????? Oh how my little heart broke…. Jenny Freakin’ D., that little slut, with her weird dog that used to lick Jennie’s legs. Yet, like a good friend and devoted pal, I’d pass them the notes back with the correct answer. I’d check the YES box, after conferring with Jenny at recess. Their mini-romances were hell for me.

Why would those boys not look at me?

Well, remember how I mentioned the onslaught of puberty at an early age? Let’s just say Mother Nature, in her twisted sense of humour, gave me only one “girl” to grow for a few months. The other eventually caught up, but not before I learned that tissue stuffed in the cup of my new training bra does NOT look like a boob. At all. I am pretty sure that I fooled NO ONE.

Well, yes, I attempted to mask my deformity as well as I could. I hunched my shoulders and crossed my arms whenever possible. Baggy shirts were my best friends.

But you guys. YOU GUYS…. Not only was I the one-boob-wonder, I was also having major orthodontic work done and due to all sorts of fucked up shit in my mouth, I only had one front tooth. Yeah. My one front tooth was missing. FOR TWO YEARS. Until the headgear (am I turning you on yet???) that I was forced to wear finally kicked in and that fucking tooth finally grew in, somewhere around the middle of that hellish year, I was completely defined by my inability to look “normal”.

I was never “popular”. I was never that “hot chick” that boys chased and pined over, even after the other “girl” finally got the message and caught up and grew into a great rack. A wee teeny bit of me is still that odd little girl, whose only wish is to be cool and look pretty.

I can look back and laugh, because, well…. It’s really really funny.

And these hard and strange and difficult times can help define us as who we are as adults. And for me, can help remember for my own kids. That, when they are going through tough times, no matter how insignificant it seems to me, it is HUGE for them….

It makes me a better and more compassionate parent.

With a great sense of humour.

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2 responses

24 11 2010
Michelle

I love it! I must say I’ve never heard the phrase, “Sucks Donkey Balls!” And I will have to remember to incorporate it in my phraseology sometime soon, with compassion mind you; as I too am using yoga to fine tune my rough & tumble language that in the precocious teen years landed me in a special school for “unique-children,” who were otherwise uncontrollable by the usual assortment of authority figures. So, a shared and deep history we share, my dear Kris of learning to weave compassion into our hot headed pie holes, with the help of yoga, of course, so that… especially lovely phrases like, “Sucks Donkey Balls,” flies over most peoples heads, because by the time they are done laughing… they’re still not sure if in fact it was potentially offensive, or not, as their yogi pal is already off and running at the mouth on some other issue… and so forth and so on….

24 11 2010
Kris

Ah! Love this comment so much!!! Thank you!

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