A freak storm.

22 10 2010

I told this little gem to a few of my friends during a fantastically fun beach party we had at the beginning of the summer.

A month or so before the party, I went into the computer room after sending the kids to school to enjoy the rest of my morning coffee, geek around facebook a bit, check emails and so forth before getting into the housework of the day. (Ugh. That whole sentence just made me yawn. Sorry!!)

I clicked on my little firefox icon, an up popped a very strange looking window. It definitely wasn’t my homepage, and right away I figured it was some sort of virus. I tried to click the X at the top, and then LO AND BEHOLD, I was drug into a Pornado. A lesbian one. In a locker room. And it involved several women.

That frickin’ window would NOT close. I realized I would have to try to re-start my system and run a deep clean to rid the system of whatever infected it…

But not before I had a peek, of course. C’MON! Of course I did. And not much shocks me anymore, what with 2girls1cup and all….

What got me, what made me laugh out loud, was the fervent, deliberate and frantic way these ladies went at it with one another. It was robotic and urgent in a such a frenetic way. Writhing arms and chafing hands and waggling tongues and bouncing boobs, weird shrieks and moans of what I assumed were pleasure, but sounded more like repetitive groans of boredom.

I began to wonder if they were trying to start fires with the friction they were causing.

Honestly, it exhausted me just to watch it. But, I’ll give those girls this, at least: They have stamina. Lots and lots of stamina.

But it obviously was the result of the endless hunger for this sort of thing. It’s produced because people want it. Sadly, though it had nothing that I could see as a turn-on (and HEY, I get the whole girl-on-girl thing….). I likened it to cheap, mass-produced products made in a foreign land to fulfill an instant fad, with misspelled words and badly-made materials. “Hey everybody! Lesbian porn is IN right now!!! Lots of girls going for it in the locker room shower! Sounds HOT!!” I mean, let’s be honest here. NONE of those girls are gay. Probably not even bisexual. They all looked so tired, like it was just another day at the office. I felt that I could almost read their thoughts. Been there, done that. A couple more rounds and I’m done for the day! Are we done yet? I gotta pick up my kid from daycare. Aw crap, I have a dentist’s appointment this afternoon. Wonder if Jimmy will let me go early?

Guh. I kind of felt their pain…. Haven’t we all had jobs that we’ve hated; repetitive, boring, endless stupid jobs? And yet we still did them, day after relentless day, for that pathetic paycheque to cover our bills?

I wonder if the porn-hungry people out there care that it’s faked? And in such a terribly bad and poorly lit way?

Wait. I just remembered the WWE, and answered my own question. Never mind.

Oh, and I completely cleaned my system, and it’s never happened again… I couldn’t even IMAGINE how I would explain that sort of thing to my kids…..