The Shiz My Kids Say….

28 01 2010

The love of the original trilogy of Star Wars has descended upon both my kids, primarily my son.

So, we finally got to rent Return Of The Jedi last weekend, and had a fantastic time watching it.

At the end of the movie, everyone is celebrating the destruction of the Empire and the deaths of the Emporer and Darth Vader (whoops, SPOILER ALERT!!!!) and the scene comes on where the Ewoks and everyone else are partying it up on the forest moon of Endor. (Yeah, I AM a geek!!!)

So there’s all the characters dancing away and my daughter looks over at me and deadpans:

“Look Mom, C-3P0 is doing The Robot….”

I tell yah, I could NOT laugh hard enough……

Like looking in a mirror, baby…..

22 01 2010

My son just turned 11 last week. To celebrate, he invited a few of his buddies over for a sleepover extravaganza. Copious amounts of pizza and pop were consumed, to which the hilarious side-effect of rocketing belches and hysterical laughter issued forth, to every one’s delight.  Then they all headed upstairs to blast some music and, I suspect, to fart as much as they possibly could. Honestly, I was afraid someone was going to poop their pants in their efforts to squeeze out a stinky one.

I let them have their fun without any interference from me. After all, they’re boys…. And I wanted the kids to have a blast.

After the impromptu rave in Nick’s room, they all trooped downstairs to settle in to watch Star Trek. (Which was AWESOME!!)

In the middle of all this was my daughter. She was supposed to be at my sister’s place for a sleepover so she didn’t have to be around all the boys, but circumstances prevented this and she was stuck in the middle of a roiling pack of 10 and 11 year old Fart Champions. She stayed out of their way most of the time, but was included in the general festivities of supper and the movie.

She trucked into the living room after the boys settled in. And there she was, in shorty shorts and a black tank top.

I raised my eyebrow and asked her why she had changed.

She flipped her hair back and said “I was hot, Mommy.”

Her apparel (or lack thereof) was immediately noticed by one boy in particular. I never caught his opinion that he voiced about her clothing choice, but it was obviously heard by everyone else, since almost immediately, this boy and my daughter’s love for each other and upcoming nuptials were discussed with many a snicker and snort.

She pretended to get mad, and so did the boy, but I recall enough about my own childhood to recognize that indeed, somewhere deep down, this pleased both of them.

Now, on one hand I was mortified that my 8… 8!!!!!! year old daughter took it upon herself to flaunt her body in front of a pack of boys. (And don’t worry, we’ve had a little chat about that very thing…)

On the other hand, I realized she is more like me than just her blond hair and fiery temper. I was looking into a mirror.

And mirrors don’t lie.

Happy Blogiversary To Me!!!

20 01 2010

Well, it was a year ago that I decided to put forth some of the random ideas and thoughts that swirl around my gray matter….

I covered a variety of topics, from kinky cross-dressing sexual habits , my love of yoga , killing wee fuzzy critters and waxing my lady-bits with disastrous, yet hilarious results.

Good times, gang… Good freakin’ times.

I have always enjoyed writing. Enough that, as a youngster, I had lofty dreams of best-selling novels and free-lanced articles with prestigious magazines. Dreams of life lived in exotic locales and no kids. *Sigh* Life though, well, life happened and much to my surprise it veered me in an entirely different direction. And truly, I have very little regret. I can’t lie and say no regrets, though. As humans we are blessed with hindsight and self-realization. I do NOT regret my children or the man I married. I do have a teeny bit of regret for the adventures I never had, the foreign lovers in a mysterious country whom I never kissed, the courage I would have needed in the face of chance and challenges in a different life.

Well, now, if I had gone down that alternate path, then I wouldn’t have been able to blog about my love affair with my lake, nor the wise-cracking of my children or the deep love that I have for my friends who surround me with strength and laughter in my life.

I do dream of one day being published. That dream is not in my hindsight. And I have a fantastic, wonderful and very blessed life that I never want to take for granted. I seek to live in the moment as much as I can, to live simply, to live truthfully.

And Goddess knows, my general idiocy and propensity for mishaps only gives me more reason to blog.

The Grey Area.

12 01 2010

I love wine. I love love love wine. I am a white wine kind of girl. My favorites are Rieslings, Gewurztraminers, Pinot Gris, and Sauvignon Blancs. I don’t really like the oaky buttery chardonnays too much. I love the fact there is a vibrant and wonderful wine industry here in my home province of British Columbia. There are multitudes of fantastic wines ranging in price from $10 a bottle to extremely HOLY CRAP that’s a down-payment-on-a-car-expensive per bottle.

I have been in the habit of having a glass pretty much every day for the last several years. Sometimes two, I must admit. I cook with a glass of wine by me, it is a ritual and a habit and something I anticipate every day. I generally never have wine after dinner, unless I am going out with friends or it’s a Saturday night movie at home kind of thing.


I started to consider the slippery slope of drinking. It sure can sneak up on you if you’re not paying attention. And there are so many factors in considering the idea of stopping drinking or at least cutting back on the drinking. First and foremost, the weight gain is a biggie with me. I am in fairly good shape, as I eat right, and run and do yoga, so it’s seems sort of ironic to be pouring needless calories down my throat when I am trying to stay fit. Secondly, the cost. I don’t work anymore, so we are a one-income family…. Spending 10-15 dollars on a bottle of wine every two or three days is a bit ridiculous, considering that we are on a tight budget these days. Another reason is that quite frankly, I am kind of an asshole when I drink too much.

Last, the idea that I may need it instead of merely wanting it. That frightened me deeply.

So I stopped drinking on January 1st. Partly due to the over-imbibing of the holidays, and also to see if I could without any serious issues.

I found out a few things.

I found out that yes, I can stop and it isn’t a big deal. Whew. No DT’s, no shakes, no sweats, no obvious signs of withdrawal. Sometimes, around 4 in the afternoon, I discovered that I kind of craved it, and then I would just carry on with my shiz and it would pass. YAY!! That craving I think is more to do with the ritual of it than anything else. A cup of green tea helps quite a bit.

And I also found out that my balance in my bank account hasn’t changed drastically in the last couple of weeks.

I’ve lost weight. Without trying. Just a couple pounds, maybe more like water retention. But still, a lovely and selfish reward for given up the nectar of the gods…..

My cleanse of no alcohol and no sugar (except for that yummy dessert my Mom made the other night, damn you Mom!!!) will end at the end of the month. I plan to take stock, see how I feel, and where I would like it to lead me.

I do intend on staying in the healthy track. I feel really good, physically and emotionally, right now. From now on,  I will only have wine on the weekends instead of every day. Unless of course, I have the raging PMS-itis and my kids are driving me and the cat barfed on the floor again and there’s 17 loads of laundry to do…. THEN we’ll see…..