Look What The Cat Dragged In…

7 11 2009

I was re-reading my old post about my kitty surprise and I realized that there is so much more I can tell you about our early days of misadventure with these two fur balls we brought into our lives.

We got Tika shortly after we shacked up started to live together back in the early 90’s. Ah, the waning days of hair-bands and high waisted jeans. Good times!! Good f*cking times…. Anyways, we felt our wee little kitty was lonesome during the day while we were out making money to spend on booze and cigarettes and more booze church tithes, and so we adopted another kitty, slated to be euthanised if she wasn’t adopted. She was a long haired black cat we named Silky (for the Gaelic term meaning seal… Yeah, I had just read Diana Gabaldon’s bodice ripper “Outlander”, and thought I was worldly with this term. Don’t judge me…..)

On any given evening, we’d get the cats all ripped out on cat-nip and watch them fight. The epic kitty-cat beat-downs, were, in my humble opinion, better than any Saturday night bar fights I someone would encounter during an evening out. They, in turn, would launch themselves off of our sleeping heads every morning at about 5 AM, racing each other down the hallway . We had an understanding, you see. Their addiction to the ‘nip was acceptable as long as we allowed them to terrorize us in our slumbering hours.

This is honestly a truthful account of all that our kitties did.

One time, after many countless LIVE mice being brought into our house by our faithful felines, when I tried so desperately to rid our shack of vermin infestation, I had had enough. Silky had oh so proudly deposited her newest gift to me in my dining area, so I quickly picked up the latest little critter by the tail to chuck it back out in the yard, when the wee motherfucker managed to bite the pad of my finger. I felt the teeth meet inside my skin. One tetanus shot later, I felt that I had seen it all.

Oh no. No, I did not.

Shortly after, Tika brought me a live lizard. Again, obviously not learning through my mistakes, I picked it up to chuck it away from my house, and the tail came off in my hand, the lizard dropped to the ground and ran to freedom. I stood in horror and a sick kind of amazement, watching the tail remnant wiggle about in the palm of my hand.

One more. Tika, the mighty huntress, raced into the house, avoiding my attempts at catching her with what I thought was a leaf in her mouth. There, in my kitchen, she released her catch. The bat then flew down the hallway into our bedroom. A BAT!!!!!!!!! A BAT!!!!!!! THEY CARRY RABIES!!!!!! AND ONE IS FLYING AROUND MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now, I am not a “girly” kind of girl. I have always been able to pick up all manner of creatures and have never worried or felt faint about it. But the bat. I simpered and batted (HA!) my eyes at Dan, who then managed to catch the wee critter and toss it out in the forest.

Anyways. In closing, cats can be disgusting.

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2 responses

31 03 2010
Lana Collins/Torwalt

Kris, I was just reading through some of your stories. You truly are a story teller! You make life and adventure! I love it. Had many a great laugh! Thanks.

PS If I ever were to write one of these you would be so fricken bored!

31 03 2010
Kris

Thanks so much Lana! ♥

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