He said, She said

27 10 2009

A couple weeks ago, I had to phone the local health unit to go over a few safety guidelines for preparing a new food item for the hot lunch program at my kids school.

I spoke to man (whom I shall refer to as R)  about proper techniques, and avoiding cross-contamination. He was very helpful, and mentioned to me that he would have to come out and inspect our facilities to make sure we weren’t poisoning the kids on a regular basis.

The following week, just as we were finishing up the lunch, a woman walked into the gym where we serve the food. She was wearing a pair of fantastic black high heeled boots, which I instantly coveted.

She walked up to me, extended a rather large hand and in a deep man’s voice said “Hello, I’m R.”

Luckily for me, I didn’t a) Laugh out loud, and b) Make a complete ass of myself.

I held it together. I was cool. I kept my shiz under control. I live in an area that embraces all walks of life, all manner of living, and equality of everyone.

I however cannot control my crazy brain-thoughts. Certain questions kept rolling around in my head. Questions pertaining to particular body parts. And whether or not these body parts are still there.

And for obvious reasons, the scene in Crocodile Dundee, where he grabs the drag queen’s twig n’ berries in the bar kept running through my head.



PS. I honestly and for reals think its great that she is now living as she needs to live.

PPS. I want to get to know her so I can one day ask if I can have a peek.

PPPS. Seriously though, I’m not a bad person.