Bad kitty. BAD!!!!

31 08 2009

I’m old enough to now preface some stories of mine with me saying “Years ago…” Which, obviously means I have amassed enough fodder for laughs to keep my little bloggy going for some time now…. And I love to tell a good story.

So, years ago, when Dan and I first moved in together, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the mid 90’s, we got ourselves two kitties. Tika and Silky. They were very sweet, they were loved and doted upon, they drove us crazy, they were our babies… You know, before we had actual human babies.

One night, as we lay in bed, drooling and snoring away, completely oblivious to the night prowlings of our feline friends, I became aware of some odd sound. A sound that I couldn’t immediately identify. See, I was in the midst of a dream, so struggling my way out of dreamland into conciousness only added to the confusion of what was about to happen to me.

The sound I speak of was a squeaky sound.

The sound that, oh say, a mouse might make.

I woke, disoriented, to find my black cat Silky sitting on my chest. I was all “Umph… Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh….” and was SHOCKED, and also very DISMAYED to see, by the moonlit night casting a dim cool glow in our bedroom that she had a live mouse in her mouth.

Yep. I said it. A live mouse.

And, oh, my dears….. That isn’t the worst of it…..

She saw I was awake and proceeded to spit the live mouse onto my chest. Where it squiggled and squeaked and scurried upon my naked flesh.

I shrieked, and threw the blanket off of me, which included the mouse and my cat.

Thud went the cat, and thump went the mouse, after flying through the air and hitting the wall. The mouse went running, the cat went chasing and I was left, wide awake at 2 AM, wondering if there was any form of psychotherapy that handled this kind of shit.

And Dan….. My sweet, oblivious, comatose man….. Well, he kept on snoring and drooling and dreaming away. I really wanted to punch him for not being remotely aware of the trauma I had just endured….

Frickin’ cats…..

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16 responses

31 08 2009
Connie

*SNORT*

1 09 2009
Kris

Yep.

1 09 2009
Mb

This is actually pretty effing hilarious. Traumatizing. But effing hilarious. Thank you for the morning laughs.

1 09 2009
Kris

Anytime!!!!

1 09 2009
BigSis

Did you ever find the appropriate therapy? Cause I’m pretty sure I’m going to have nightmares about this tonight. My cats don’t go outside, but I’m guessing a mouse could come inside. Yikes!

1 09 2009
Kris

It was therapy in a bottle, for many days……

1 09 2009
lori Shumey

My Casius loved to bring me mice… Live ones as well. He would just drop them in the house and then the chase would be on… Him on one side and me on the other with a cardboard box and Lawrence jumping up and down on the couch. hahahhaha,,,,,,,,,,,

1 09 2009
Kris

I can TOTALLY picture that…..

1 09 2009
BodyForWife

He was just giving you present. Mind you, considering that mice can carry the Hanta virus then it wasn’t much of a present.

Yeah, cats suck.

1 09 2009
Kris

The present she gave me was chronic nightmares…..

3 09 2009
clairemontgomerymd

traumatic! we’re about to get a cat and now i’m having second thoughts.

4 09 2009
Kris

Well, we lived in a place that had oodles of mice….. But yeah, I have TONS of cat stories to tell…… of all manner of critter…..

4 09 2009
hannah78

Oh man! The cat thought you might like a late night snack! LOL. That is gross!
I had a cat who used to rip apart little rodents and decorate them all over our front door. 😛

7 09 2009
Kris

Presents for you!!!!

5 09 2009
LiLu

THANK GOD mine are indoors… I would seriously need a therapy session after that.

With a wine bottle.

7 09 2009
Kris

I like your style…..

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