And so it came to fisticuffs…..

19 04 2009

So yesterday, my daughter decided to kick my son in the balls. Boy howdy, she got in trouble for that one…. Not only that, last week, she pushed my nephew down the stairs. I’ve been racking my brain about what to do about this. You see, when I was explaining to her that it’s never a good idea to shove someone down the stairs, because, you know, it just might hurt them, she was adamant that it wasn’t her fault…. Through her torrent of tears, she tried her hardest to convince me. It was NOT her fault. At all. I truly had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. It also wasn’t her fault that she kicked Nick in the nuts. Apparently some unseen force moved her leg for her. Now granted, the two boys she threw the beat down on are infamous teasers… Both of them know how to push her buttons. Elisabeth doesn’t have much a sense of humour about this, and I can’t say I blame her… They tease, cajole, scare her on purpose and generally make her life a living hell just for shits and giggles. They have been known to exclude her, to gang up on her and you know, just generally be typical normal boys…. Now, after we talked about the dangers of kicking boys down there, and pushing someone down a flight of stairs, there was a wee tiny part of me that was tremendously proud of her for not taking anymore of their shit. On some level, those boys sort of deserved it. I would have preferred a general sort of smack upside the head or perhaps even, and I’m going out on a limb here, considering the temperament of my daughter, ignoring them or even just walking away..….

She does need to acknowledge her part in it… No matter what, she did it, and it’s unacceptable. But isn’t it always hard to recognize your own flaws? Gently and softly, I helped her realize what she did wrong. And when she did that, I think it surprised her how much it hurts to accept a negative part of yourself. She cried and I held her, my daughter. My fierce strong girl. My passionate fiery Mini-Me. I praised all her goodness, and I held her as she wept about what she did wrong.

Above all, my love for my youngest, my baby, my daughter, my heart, rose to new levels. Mothering offers new challenges every day. Allowing them to discover their own flaws and lows leads directly into helping them love and honor their wondrous traits that make me giddy with joy and deeply humbled by the common miracle that is our children. We gift these people to the world. Elisabeth, in all her passion and excess, is a spiritual girl, very smart, and unbelievably kind. She cares so much for others, she often brings their sadness into her heart. She stands up for her friends and won’t back down from a confrontation. She has an unbelievable memory and a gift for making us all laugh. And so, as we deal with this temper and her reaction to rage, we shall walk together, she can hold my hand, while we both grow and learn the right ways to deal with our problems.

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2 responses

19 04 2009
Jodi

Way to go Lily….oops did I say that out loud!!??? I hear the same excuses at my house! It wasn’t my fault, it was gravity that forced my foot to…..yeah I have heard them all too but sometimes even in the wrong there is that sense of justice in it all!! Can’t help but give a lil’ “way to go girl!”

19 04 2009
Connie

“We gift these people to the world.”
I love that. What a great way to look at motherhood!
I can hardly wait until I have to deal with the “kick in the nuts”… should be any day now.

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