Don’t you just love a good book?

30 01 2009

I really love to read. I feel so relaxed in my every day life when I know there is the reward of a couple of chapters of a meaty good book. Waiting for me at the end of that long mother-filled chore-ridden day, like a butler with a good glass of wine.

I can’t quite understand when people say “I don’t read.” For me, that’s equal to “I don’t eat.” Come again? You … don’t read??? How can you not read? I understand not having time. As mommies, we are all busy creatures. But the lure of a good story, opening that book while you’re curled up in your favorite chair, being swept away on someone’s words is one of the finest experiences in life.

I thought I would put out some of my favorite books that I have read, and would love to hear yours….. Some I have just read recently, and others are long-time friends.

Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Through Black Spruce by Joseph Boyden

Three Day Road by Joseph Boyden

A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Travelling Mercies by Ann Lamott

I could go on and on, but these are a few jewels that sparkle a bit more brightly in my mind….

I am a happier person when I have my nose in a book. The TV can be blaring out a hockey game, the kids can be running around causing trouble and yet I am immersed. I am wrapped in Story.  I am more complete in my spirit.

I’m currently caught up in The Hour I First Believed, by Wally Lamb. And ooooohhhhhhh, it’s shaping up to be one of those books…. I’ll let you know.

And now, a poem by Elisabeth…..

27 01 2009

“How The Snow Shines”

How the snow shines gleaming in the sun.

I walk home from school hearing sounds like these:

crunch crunch crunch.

Coming home, hearing Tutter running to us

very excited to see us.

Happy, very happy.

We see Mom making us a snack.

We go outside and play, very fun,

but most of all,

I love how the snow shines in the sun.

~ Elisabeth, age 7

For the love of my friends.

24 01 2009

As January winds down, and we head into that no-man’s land of almost spring, not yet done with winter, I start fantasizing about the warm days to be, dancing on the horizon….

I have a very distinct memory floating around my mind these days. It is of a hot July afternoon last summer, one of the first truly bothersomely hot summer days, when seeking relief and respite from the sun is on the agenda. In my world, this respite is Queen’s Bay. That lovely, rocky, sunbaked oasis that I am blessed to have shared with my friends for so many years now.

My memory is this: Dan, and I and the kids, along with Tutter, head down to QB beach for an afternoon dip. It’s a very hot day is all I can remember, I don’t quite recall what we were doing before our trip to the beach…. I love that sort of heat. With all that delicious warmth from the sun heating up our bodies,  we are stepping over all that driftwood left behind along the high water mark, then settling the blankets and towels down along whatever sandy part we can find, and then at some point, entering the water. Oh….  That lake of ours, The Bay, that welcoming baptismal entry to summertime. Yes. It is cold, those first couple dips…. But that water, clear and pure, it embraces me, and I dive in, hearing that empty echo under water, and surface heading towards the dock…

All drippy and happy, wiping mascara away from under my eyes, I flop down beside one of my lovely friends, Katya. We sit, side by side, friends in the sun, all wet and laughing and happy. I look at her, and we smile at each other and she says “Well, here we are!” and we laugh and I say “Here we are!”, and we sit in the sun on the dock, kicking our feet in the water.

And that says it all. That wonderful welcome to summer and knowing all the good times that lie ahead with all my amazing friends, stretching out in front of us, each day a tantalizing pearl of fun, joy and celebration…. all of us and the sunshine too.

Summertime in The Bay is where I forged my friendships with some amazing women. Summertime in The Bay is where I was blessed to become part of a circle of friends beyond comparison.  I sure do love my lake. I sure do love summer. And I sure do love my friends.

The Hypocrisy of (Monthly) Vanity….

19 01 2009

Sometimes there are days when I look in the mirror and think “Allright Mama… You got it going on. Not too shabby for almost 40….”  My eyes are sparkly, my skin is clear, I feel good about my inner and outer self……

These are the days that I can accept my flaws with love in my heart. I can overlook my imperfections with a shrug, knowing it’s these very flaws and imperfections that make me human and make me exactly who I am.

And then there are the other days…. The days when I look in the mirror and can’t for the life of me figure out how a troll like me could produce two cute kids. These are usually the days that there is a torrent of evil hormones coursing through my veins like possessed lava.  Hormones that can skew normal judgement and reason.  You know those sort of hormones, don’t you girls? When the slightest speck of dirt on the floor or misdiagnosed comment about the laundry from your husband can and will send you into a torrent of tears and insane rages. Personally, I fantasize about my favorite frying pan meeting his face at about, oh, say 175 miles per hour…. Those also happen the be the days when I want to channel my inner New Yorker and flip the bird at some innocent little old lady shopping in Wal-Mart for her favorite cookies to give to her loving grandchildren simply because her cart happened to be put right in front of me just to piss me off was slightly in my way. These are the days that I marvel at the gross injustice of getting wrinkles AND zits at the same time. Seriously. What. The. Fuck? Slight smile lines are forming deeper grooves, all the while red spots are sprouting along my chin, making me look like a cross between a withered hag and a dorky teenager. I can live with the wrinkles. I get it. I’m aging. But pimples too? It’s all a bit disheartening, isn’t it?

The answer for me is time. Wait a couple days…. Wait until the torrent of rage is abated after the hormones level off. Wait until I become sane once again. Then, not only are all little old ladies shopping in Wal-Mart safe once more, but I can then usually see the beauty within and upon me.  Then I can, once again, love those laugh lines and grooves and etches of experience upon my face.

My Simple Life….

17 01 2009

I’ve blogged before, with a group of folk, who I met in the blogosphere…. My blogging life was based on a “fake” identity, carefully constructed to maintain an anonymous, and extremely sarcastic and assholish identity….. We had a fantastic run, these people and I… Over three years of horsing around on the internet, becoming friends, bonding and sharing our lives and then eventually crackling around the edges, falling away bit by bit, until only a few were left, desperately hanging onto the remnants of who and what we were together….. We has such a good run, the lot of us. I loved my “fake” friends, and, yes, perhaps people who have never been involved in online relationships would call it weird and strange and not right. I disagree. I have honestly never laughed more in my life then when I was online with these freaks. We shared, we supported, we laughed, and yes, unbelievably, we truly cared for each other.

That sharing, that support is what I miss the most… We still try to keep in touch through various mediums… facebook, email and so forth… But it’s just not the same….. Due to certain circumstances, these people are now unable to be online anymore. I have mourned this passing of this phase in my life, and it makes me seek more of the same.

This time, though, with truth, honesty and real people that I know in my life…

This is my blog. This is my life. And thank you for coming to read!!!!!


My first entry, besides the blathering above will be about my son, Nicholas. You see, he is turning 10 this Sunday. Apart from his own celebrations, I will also be celebrating my own decade of motherhood. I’ve already begun my own quiet personal celebration, to revel and become misty-eyed in this amazing journey of motherhood. He came into my life at 8:16 PM, on a snowy Monday night, in 1999. He was a textbook birth, 12 hours of labour, 20 minutes of pushing, but OH!!!!! A universe of love. When he came out of my body, I reached my hand to his face that I had memorized every single detail of in a single heartbeat. I said to him, “Hi Nick!” and was in love, purely, simply and utterly. This being, this child, this boy. This artist, this humourous scientist, this enviromentally aware philanthropist. This empathetic soul, this kind and caring human. He is my soul. He is my reserve of piety. He is my strength. He is my joy.

He is ten years old. And I am so very proud to be his mother.

Happy 10th Birthday. May you always find joy, Nicholas. May you always have love.